Top Ten Reasons You’re Gonna Love Your Smart Meter

Spotted on a Sonoma County CA bulletin board:

Top Ten Reasons You’re Gonna Love Your Smart Meter

1. You will save so-o-o much money on your hair because you won’t have much left after being microwaved daily!

2. No more guilt over being tired at work because everyone with a Smart Meter will totally understand!

3. Way more “ME TIME” because you’ve discovered that you’ve been microwaved into the infertile range!

4. Your energy bill will skyrocket creating more great incentives to work harder and climb the ladder!

5. Your spouse now completely understands when you say not tonight dear because everyone knows the Smart Meter microwave frequencies zap . . . well, you know!

6. Don’t worry about saving money for retirement because Smart Meter frequencies shave at least 8 years off your life expectancy.

7. You’ll age prematurely right along with all of your friends with Smart Meters so you can slack off on trying so hard!

8. You get to buy all new Smart Appliances with RFID spy-chips in them that will know more about you than you do, which is great because you can’t remember a thing anymore!

9. Excellent time to invest heavily in big pharmaceuticals because the Smart Meter Global Grid will expose billions of people to radiation illness and they will need those always handy expensive remedies—and don’t forget about their pets!

10. Rationing your electricity and routine brown outs will become a fun new game and you will become quite an expert on how to save money by cooking your chicken at 4 am in the morning when there is less demand!


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One Response to Top Ten Reasons You’re Gonna Love Your Smart Meter

  1. soapbox jill says:

    But add to that #10 this process:
    The oven will decide when the chicken can be cooked – not you. But first the oven has to ask the fridge if it is the right time to be opened so the chicken can be moved to the oven. The fridge will have to consult with the smart meter, which will send the question through all the homes in the mesh to get the answer, which will depend on what all the other fridges and ovens in the grid have to say about it.

    Needless to say, this complexity will require more chips, automation and wireless sensors, eventually taking any remaining decisions out of the dazed consumers’ hands.

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